Speak da Troof Sunday: Stressed out Jessica is no fun

I was inspired to write this after reading SUAR's latest post - hers is a lot more serious, but it gave me a nice reminder that just because you blog about running and fitness doesn't mean that you have to avoid blogging about anything else in your life.  And since other parts of my life have been overshadowing any running and fitness, I thought maybe another speak da troof was in order.

This is not to say that I haven't been trying to blog.  I started a 15 Thing list on Friday, beginning with my decision to halt Insanity for a while and try it again at a different time.

Although I normally would agree with what the lovely Amylee (who just got a new half marathon PR, YOU GO GIRL!) said about needing to give something a while before you make a decision on it... after day 3 of Insanity, my decision was made.  No more Insanity for Jessica right now.  And I really do mean right now - I'm not throwing it in the garbage or selling it on Craigslist or anything.  It will stay in my workout DVD collection and I think the time will come that it will be the right thing for me to do and it'll be great.  But now is not that time.  Even just three days into it, I was dreading the workouts.  Honestly, they're not that much harder than TurboFire (my heart rate was about the same for the Insanity workouts and the TF workouts), but what TF has going for it that Insanity doesn't is fun.  TurboFire is super hard, but the music is awesome and you're too busy shaking your booty to notice.  There are no distractions in Insanity.  You know that your life sucks a little and that your muscles hate you.  It's a little stressful.  And I do not need stress from exercise right now, I need exercise as a release.  So I'm starting TurboFire again tomorrow, and will throw some running in when it works.

The reason I am trying to minimize added stress is because I've got a whole lot of it weighing on me right now.  But instead of hiding away and not blogging, I felt like it might help me to get it all down and out there.

About a week ago, I was checking the Disney Auditions website, which I do regularly, and two different auditions caught my eye.  The first is in Orlando on November 7th, and it's for an a capella group called Voices of Liberty that performs in Epcot.  I've heard them before, and they are an absolutely incredible ensemble that I've always wanted to audition for, but I'd never gotten the chance.  But my parents had already made plans to go back to Orlando in just a few days, so adding on some extra time so that I could do the audition seemed like a no-brainer.  The second audition, though, was even more exciting to me - it is scheduled for November 10th, and it's for two brand new a cappella groups that will be added to Disney's California Adventure next year.  The website describes them as follows: "Minnie’s Fly Girls Charter Airlines, a four-member charter airline crew that sings and swings to songs from the 40s, 50s, and 60s, and The Friendly Sisters, a talented trio from the Midwest who epitomize the innocent, optimistic “can-do” America of the 1920s."  They are looking for singers of all ranges and types, and the benefit of auditioning for a group that doesn't exist yet is that you're not trying to fill someone's shoes.  The problem?  The second audition is in Hollywood.  So now instead of going to Orlando for a few days just to relax and then come home, I'll be going to Orlando for a few days to relax, then do a big audition, then hopefully have callbacks the next day, then fly from Orlando to Burbank, do a big audition bright and early the next morning, and then probably cry a lot.  And I leave in four days.

It sounds silly, but these auditions are taking a serious toll on me.  These are big league auditions, much bigger than what I'm used to, and I know that.  So the first step for me was to get some headshots taken, because I really didn't have anything that was perfect.  Luckily, I was able to make arrangements with a photographer to get some headshots taken on Friday, and I have since chosen one and she is getting it retouched and sent off to the printers so I will have copies on Wednesday (fingers crossed).  But it's me, and I'm high maintenance, so it took hours for me to pick the right shot after she'd put them up on her website.  And then I asked for opinions from my parents and David, and sure enough, more hours spent changing my mind about which was the right shot!  I'm also completely unsure about what to sing for both auditions because they're not what I'm used to... for a specific musical, I'd sing something from a similar show, but for vocal groups that do a variety of things, it's a lot harder.  

On top of the stress of actually getting ready for the auditions, I also have my responsibilities here hanging over me.  I feel terrible when I miss Friday mornings with my Weight Watchers members, because I've been in their shoes and I know how important it is to have your leader to depend on.  But doing these auditions means that I'll be missing two more meetings, and the guilt is overwhelming (before you ask - yes... I am Catholic).  And that's just the guilt I feel going to the auditions.  If either audition leads to an offer, everything changes.  I believe a position with Voices of Liberty would start immediately, meaning that I'd be quitting my job with Weight Watchers with very little warning and leaving the cast of Cinderella (which we FINALLY started rehearsing for and I will update more about later) with no Cinderella.  The Disneyland situation wouldn't be much better - those contracts start in January, which means that I could give Weight Watchers plenty of notice, but I would still have to leave Cinderella.  On the flip side, it would mean that I'd be moving out to California in January, which would mean the end of the long distance for David and I, and I'd be doing it with a great job already secured.  Not to mention the fact that I'd be getting paid to sing.  For Disney.  

Regardless... that's what is hanging over my head right now and why Insanity is going to have to wait.  It does actually feel kind of nice to put it all out there and not keep it bottled up.  Hopefully everything works out the way it is supposed to... but I'm not sure what way that is right now!


  1. Found your blog through SR. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate but in a good way. Good luck with all your auditions. It is amazing that you have the talent to even audition for these groups!

  2. I haven't been following you very long, so I didn't even realize you are a singer! Good luck with those auditions and just try to have fun. :)