Thursday, January 16, 2014

I don't wanna, don't make me.

Today's workout:
Body Pump!

I have found the theme of my life for the next few weeks.  I will feel terrible and not want to work out, I will force myself to work out anyway, and then I will feel so great after working out that I will tell myself "I must remember what this feels like the next time I don't feel like working out!" but I will not remember and the cycle will start again.


I didn't want to do anything on Tuesday and then I made myself do a Zumba DVD and was so glad that I did.  I absolutely did not want to run yesterday so I told myself I would only do 2 miles and it felt so good that I ended up doing 3 miles.  And it all happened again today.  It was cold and I was on my feet a lot at work today, so when I got home, I felt chilled and worn out.  I took a short nap and woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a truck.  I had been planning on going to Body Pump all day, but the idea of it physically hurt me.  I got out of bed to get ready, thought about how I would feel in the middle of that class, and got right back in bed.  But once I got out of bed, dressed, and out the door, I was fine.  Class went really well.  I am definitely remembering why I used to love Body Pump - it's fun!  And it's empowering!  I always feel like such a badass in that room, even if I am actually just jiggly.  Plus, even though I have only been going regularly again for a couple weeks now, I feel like I am already making progress.  The triceps track was killing me last week and now it feels a bit easier.


Really, that is about it.  After Body Pump, I picked up a super healthy dinner for Jamie and I and we ate slowly, discussing how our day went, and then we did some restorative yoga and meditated.  HA!  Just kidding!  I picked up chicken tenders and mac and cheese from Publix, nuked some frozen sweet corn, and we shoved it all in our faces while watching Dr. Who.  Please.

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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

I am a terrible blogger, but a good little exerciser.

Today's workout:
3.18 mile run
That's right everyone - I get to start today's post with a workout.  And had I actually blogged on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday, I would have been able to start all of those posts with a workout too!  Aaaaaand if you include the 5K that I ran last Thursday and the 10K that I ran last Friday, that means that I have exercised 6 days in a row!

Seriously, though.  I am feeling really good right now.  For someone who has been really lax in the daily exercise department, getting myself to do something active every single day has been an impressive feat.  This is what my workouts have looked like this week.

Saturday: I went for a 350 meter swim, which is more than I have done in a while!
Sunday: I went to Body Pump!  I am trying to get back into going to Body Pump at least twice a week.
Monday: I went for a three mile run!
Tuesday: I am most proud of this one.  I did NOT want to exercise yesterday.  I walked a lot at work and when I got home, I was not feeling well.  I lounged around for a while, then Jamie and I got subs from Publix and watched Dr. Who together.  This means that I was comfy on his couch and full of delicious sub when I decided that I would not ruin my 100 day challenge on day 4 because that was stupid.  So I got off the couch, came back to my place, got into my workout clothes, and did a 20 minute Zumba DVD.  Take that, laziness!

I have also tracked every day since Saturday, so that means five consecutive days of tracking!  I will admit that I have still made a few questionable choices - Doritos jumped into my grocery cart last night and Chick-fil-a waffle fries randomly appeared next to me this afternoon.  But the whole point of Weight Watchers is that you track it and move on.  I will never be perfect with food.  I know this.  It has taken me a long time and I have beaten myself up often about it because I would love to be one of those people who honestly believes that nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  I would love to be one of those people who stops eating junk food and never wants it ever again.  My abs would look great.  But I love food so much!  I love Doritos and I love waffle fries and I love this croissant donut that you can get at Epcot.  I dream of that thing.  So I cannot keep expecting myself to "eat clean" - I am not a clean eating girl.  I am a "track it and move on" kind of girl.




I also simply did not eat very well all day today.  I have been starting every day with a green smoothie, but today was a stressful day and there were no fruits or vegetables involved in my breakfast. 


I had a very early morning today because I taught the Magic Kingdom Orientation class for the first time in months, and I was so anxious about it because I was sure I would forget the whole thing.  Luckily, I had a good co-facilitator who helped me out a lot, but I still felt a little drained by the end of class.  Then this afternoon, I met with my co-facilitator for Traditions, which is the first day any Cast Member has at Disney.  It's a huge honor to facilitate Traditions.  You have to go through several auditions and you only teach for one year.  I was lucky enough to be chosen for the 2014 team, and while I am incredibly excited to teach my very first class this Saturday, I AM SO NERVOUS.  My co-facilitator is great, though, and sitting down with him for a while today really helped.  But you can imagine after needing to study two scripts in one day and walking around the Magic Kingdom for several hours this morning, I was in no mood to do anything this afternoon.  I got home from studying for Traditions and got right into bed.  But just like yesterday, I didn't want to ruin my challenge.  I got out of bed and got into my running clothes because I told myself I would only go out for a short 2 mile run.  A crazy thing happened on that short run, though - I wanted to keep going.  So instead of doing just 2 miles, I went for 3 miles, and I was really stupid proud of myself!

That being said, I think my early morning is suddenly catching up to me now because I can hear my pillows calling my name.  Tomorrow is another day of work and the plan is for another Body Pump class!  That will make one week of exercising every day!  100 day challenge, I am coming for you.

6 days down, 94 to go

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Friday, January 10, 2014

Why 2014 needs to be my year.

Well... it's been a while blogging world.  And I am hanging my head in shame as I come back to you.  For one thing, I meant to start blogging again on January 1st (for obvious reasons) and here it is, January 10th.  For another thing, I have promised countless times that I will be a better blogger and have continued to fail pretty impressively.
But I am back and I need to be back.  Blogging kept me accountable.  It's part of why I started this blog.  And I need to be held accountable right now more than I have in a long time.
To be honest, 2013 was a rough year.  Now don't get me wrong - some pretty amazing things happened.  I ran a marathon and while I did definitely cry for several miles, I lived through it!
One of the rare moments where I was not weeping openly.

I became a Magic Kingdom Tour Guide and was trained in three separate tours - Keys to the Kingdom, Family Magic, and Walt Disney: Marceline to Magic Kingdom.

The day I received my riding crop and gave my very first Keys to the Kingdom tour.

I ran the inaugural Disneyland 10K and the Disneyland Half and took Jamie to Disneyland for his very first time.  I also drank all of the mint juleps I could, but I'm not sure if that is really a point of pride...

Jamie going into Sleeping Beauty Castle for the very first time.  I love this picture.

Okay, but seriously... I dream of this drink.

I was selected as a member of the 2014 Traditions Team.  For Disney Cast Members, this is a big deal.  Traditions is the very first class you take as a Cast Member and it is taught (we like to say it is facilitated) by other Disney Cast Members.  It is a tough team to get on and you are only a member of the team for one year, so you have to relish it for that year.  I went through several rounds of auditions and interviews before I was selected - 2014 will be my year to enjoy!

The day I found out I was on the team.  We all got special Traditions ears!

I also got to spend a good amount of time with my family, which was wonderful because I miss my them a lot now that I'm here in Florida.  I had some great times with friends in 2013 and made a lot of memories.  But 2013 was also a really difficult year for me.  I faced a lot of personal challenges and setbacks, and there were times that I felt like giving up on everything in Florida and moving home.  I am very pleased to say that my outlook is much brighter now and I am excited for what awaits this year.

There is one thing that I really need to do this year, though, and that's why I'm back here.  The stress of 2013, both from great things and from not so great things, took a toll on me.  I stopped taking care of myself the way I know I should.  I didn't get enough sleep, I exercised sporadically, and my eating was out of control.  I tried to take control of the situation - I went back to Weight Watchers in February and started going to meetings again.  But I couldn't find a meeting I loved, so I stopped going.  I would start tracking and following the plan again and be great for a few days, then get completely derailed and stay off track for a week.  I wanted to lose weight, I wanted it so much, but I couldn't stay on track, and then I got frustrated and beat myself up for losing control.  It was a horrible cycle and before I knew it, I stepped on a scale and was almost back to my original starting weight for Weight Watchers.

You'd think that all of this would be enough - that seeing a number that high on the scale would be my breaking point.  But it wasn't.  I kept spiraling.  And then today happened.  Today I ran the inaugural 10K here in Walt Disney World.  I was slow, but I've always been slow.  What killed me were the pictures.  When I left my house this morning, I thought I looked so cute all done up in my Minnie Mouse gear.  And while I still think I look pretty good for having just run a 10K, when I realized how big I had gotten, my heart sunk.



The picture with Donald is heartbreaking to me, but if I want to use this blog to be accountable, then I feel like I better be completely honest.  To put this in perspective, this is a picture I took after one of my first runs here in Florida.  This was June 2012.


The difference between the pictures today and the picture from 2012 is about 30 pounds.  And it stops here.  I am blogging today to say that 2014 will be my year.  It is my Traditions year, and it will be the year that I get back to my goal weight and STAY THERE.  My life changed when I moved to Florida - I got a new job, I was in a new relationship, and things I relied on back home (a great Weight Watchers meeting and summers you can run in, for example) went away.  I used those things as excuses for too long.  The truth is, I'm settled into my job now, Jamie and I are comfortable together, and I am as used to running in Florida heat as I ever will be.  

I saw a very inspiring video that you can see here that got me thinking.  I keep starting a plan, starting a routine, starting Weight Watchers again... and then giving up.  What if I gave it 100 days?  I did the math and it turns out that if I commit to 100 days, it gets me to just about a week before my birthday.  I think weight loss would be one of the best birthday gifts I could give myself, so I am doing it.

Tomorrow will be day one of 100, and my goals are simple:
  • Track what I eat and drink every single day.
  • Do some sort of exercise every single day.
  • Forgive myself if I slip up and get right back on track with a positive mindset.
I will be blogging for the 100 days in an effort to keep myself committed and motivated.  Right now, 100 days seems very daunting... but I have faith that this will be a great thing.  So here's to 2014 - let's start it off right!

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