The Garmin Forerunner 305 is my new best friend.

Today's run:
Couch to 5K Week Three, Day Two
2.01 miles/29:29

That's right, exciting news, kids... I WENT ON A RUN TODAY!!!  Oh, and some British people got married.  Whatevs.

Did any of you (the whole five of you that read this) watch the wedding?  
I spent much of my afternoon watching TLC specials about it... I want to grow up to be Kate Middleton.


I would love to tell you that I took fantastic pictures of myself before/during/after my run, pictures of the gorgeous scenery, and pictures of my Garmin in action for the very first time.  I would also love to tell you that I didn't just eat Reddi-Whip straight out of the can, but lying is a sin.

I did take pictures of my new shoes.  I don't think I ever wrote about my little running shoe saga, so first... a story.  About two weeks ago, I decided that it was time for some new running shoes.  My old ones (Mizuno Wave Inspire 6) had a lot of wear on them.  I had a coupon for $10 off a pair of athletic shoes at Dick's Sporting Goods, so I went to get either a replacement pair of the Inspire 6 if they had my size, or a pair of the new Inspire 7.  Now, I've never been super impressed with the customer service at Dick's - I usually find that the people who work there aren't particularly helpful, available, or even all that knowledgeable.  But it's a big chain store, and I have insanely high standards for customer service because of my Disney training, so I try to cut everybody some slack.  Plus, I like $10 off expensive shoes.

That being said, when I went to get the shoes, I had one of the worst experiences I have ever had.  First, I waited for a good long while in the shoe department for someone to help me, after my mom had gone to the cashier and said we needed help.  Another woman, also clearly wanting to try on some shoes, actually hunted someone down and he bitterly got the shoes for her, then started leaving the department again.  I yelled across the room for him, and he gruffly told me to wait a minute, and then came back over.  I understand bad days, I understand if you simply hate your job... but oh goodness, this boy was disgruntled.  I asked if he could bring me the Inspire 6 in a 9.5 (for my man feet), and before I could say anything about the Inspire 7, he shoved past me, grumbling something about "if we even have them."  Then he came back out a minute or two later with a shoe box, threw it onto a chair, and walked away.  Never said a word to me.  Luckily, I checked the box, because he'd pulled a 9 instead of a 9.5.  At that point, I was so annoyed that I decided to just leave.

As luck would have it, on my way out, a manager asked if we needed help.  I told him the whole story.  Don't get me wrong - I don't want to be a jerk and I don't want anybody to lose their job.  But I've worked retail and I'm sorry, but it's simply not that hard of a job.  I wasn't asking for a miracle, but acknowledging my presence is kind of important.  The manager was fabulous, and clearly wanted to keep my business, so he pulled a pair of the Inspire 7 in my size, then walked me up to the cashier and instructed him to give me 50% off.  I tried to say no, but he insisted.  Ha!

So... extremely long and tedious story short, I got a brand new pair of shoes for half off just for whining. I knew it would eventually get me somewhere in life.



What's funny is that immediately after taking these pictures, I decided not to break in the new shoes.  I knew it was going to be a tough run (it was) and thought it would be better to give myself a break.  But I think my body sensed that there were new shoes that I wasn't using because it rebelled and gave me shin splints.  Actually, all sorts of nonsense was going on with my legs today - I did get shin splints, which I very rarely deal with, plus both knees were kind of sore and stiff, and my left hamstring got tweaky about halfway through.  I'm not too worried though, just chalking it up to taking a week off, and going on a trail walk with my mom yesterday and not stretching after... oops.  Plus, the weather was weird.  It's actually snowing now.  How I have lived in this state so long I will never know.

But I was so excited to take the new Garmin out for a spin!  I really liked it and now that I've had a chance to play around with the software and Garmin Connect online, I think it's going to be a great tool for me to use when I finish Couch to 5K and start my half marathon training.  I'm so excited to really get going!  No wonder all the training plans say to take it slow... it's way too easy to get excited and go farther than you can at first.  

In other news, and I know this will shock everyone... I went shopping today.  I couldn't resist.  Two brand new Nordstrom Racks opened up yesterday and I had to check one of them out.  I tried on the most adorable dress ever...

Please keep all discussion of my linebacker calves to a minimum.

I didn't end up buying it because it was a wee bit shorter than I really feel comfortable in, and though it was very cute and very well priced, I really have no use for it.  I did buy a couple things, though... soon I will have to have a little photoshoot of all the awesome stuff I've been getting lately.  Because my narcissism really hasn't gone far enough yet.

Also, I had my second post-op appointment with the oral surgeon this morning, and am thrilled to report that it was painless!  I still have the clove-y dressings until Wednesday, but after that, I should be good to go.  Too bad though... it means no excuse to go to the fabulous mall right across the street...

Quickie.

It is late and I am seeing the oral surgeon early in the morning so this is just a quick post to say hiiiiiii.

So... um... hi.

In lieu of actual content, today's half-assed blogging effort will be a collection of photos that aid in my masochistic motivational tactics.

Enjoy.




I own that last one.  Obviously, I look hotter in it.  Oops... did I say hotter?  I meant paler.

Really?

Who has two thumbs and two dry sockets?


This girl.  
She also clearly has two intense under eye circles, but don't hate.  


I really don't have a lot of positive things to say about today, unfortunately, it was just one of those days.  Anything that starts with an appointment at the oral surgeon's office and ends with getting screamed at and flipped off in a grocery store parking lot (cars make people insane) is just not a day to dwell on.  So in an effort to put less negativity out into the world (something I am really trying to work on in my life), I will keep it brief.  First... a bit of whining.

Dry sockets, or whatever the heck is wrong with my mouth, SUCK.  They suck, kids.  There's no better word for it.  The whole thing is just hateful.  I'm still not completely convinced that I have dry sockets because from what I understand, the pain of dry sockets is pretty much unbearable, and I am a wimp with no pain tolerance, so if I have been functional for the past week, dry sockets seem like an extreme diagnosis.  Especially since I don't have the other symptoms.  But I'll go with whatever the oral surgeon says.  The appointment was quick, at least, if not even remotely painless.  He cleaned out the sockets (oh, how I wish I could forget that glorious moment), declared dry sockets, and packed me full of medicated gauze.  Now I taste like cloves.  I don't like cloves.  And I have to get the dressings changed on Friday... then most likely again on Monday... and really, I have no idea when the whole thing will be over.  Which makes me upset and causes me to throw childish temper tantrums on my couch because all I want is a salad, but I'm scared of anything crispy, and I just want to get better so I can run and get started on this:


Buuuuuuut (and now I'll quit whining)... I'm trying to make the best of it.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have some chai and just pretend the cloves are extra spice.  And even if it tastes gross, it's made all the difference - for the past few days, I've had dull pain through my lower jaw that radiated up to my ears.  Now I'm pretty much pain free, knock on wood.

Plus, the benefit of going to the oral surgeon is that his office is right by a fabulous mall.  And the benefit of having your mommy watch you writhe in pain while going to the oral surgeon is that she feels bad and takes you shopping and says that everything you try on at Forever 21 looks really cute on you.  I'll probably work that angle again on Friday when I get the dressings changed.  There's got to be some benefit to all this nonsense, right?  Might as well be a fabulous new wardrobe for yours truly.

I am 24 today!

Today was my birthday, yay!!  Hence the late night update... I had a big day!  Actually, I had a fantastic day, despite a little lingering tooth pain :)

Because my mom is incredibly good to me and never judges my sometimes questionable eating tendencies, I got my Sausage McMuffin with egg fix this morning.  Waking up to breakfast waiting for you = success.  I also got to open an e-card from the boyfriend that was completely precious - a sleeping kitty wearing a crown!  It's gross how well he knows me.

Then I spent an hour going on a wild goose chase for the perfect glitter nail polish for my birthday.  Without going into too much detail about my sick obsession with nail polish and nail polish blogs, let's just say I was looking for a specific polish, which I unfortunately could not find.  But I found a darn good stand-in!



Blurry, but for anyone who is also obsessed (or even vaguely interested) this is Party of Five from Wet 'n Wild.  It was a cheap treat and after I bought it, I went home and gave myself a little manicure and pedicure.  In the afternoon, I went on another birthday adventure with my mom - I got feather extensions!  This is something I've been really interested in for months now, but was unsure and was working in a place with strict appearance guidelines.  But you only turn 24 once, so I thought why not, and got a few!

These are the most obvious ones since they are the brightest and towards the outside of my hair.

This little white one has a yellow and orange friend that are hiding - this bundle is less visible because it is the in the bottom layer of my hair.  No explanation of the face.


I am still a little worried about the white feather.  I like it, but don't want it to look like I suddenly got a really long gray hair.  Hopefully it will instead look suave and fashionablà la...

Stacy London...

... or Maxwell Sheffield.


I'm still getting used to the feathers, but I think I like them.  Next time I'm totally going for pink and turquoise though.  Post-feathers, mom and I did a little shopping, and then it was off to work for me... my first real meeting as a real receptionist!  It was actually really exciting, especially because the first member I weighed in got to goal today, which my mom said was a good omen.  I really like the people I'll be working with, too, which is wonderful.

After work, I came home to tuna casserole, one of my favorite meals, because my mom really is awesome.  Then I got to open presents which was thrilling.  I pretty much got everything I wanted because my parents spoil me, and I am okay with it.  I am now the proud owner of my very own Garmin Forerunner 305 (!!!) and INSANITY (!!!).  And luckily for me, tomorrow is my post-op appointment with the oral surgeon, so I can find out when I can exercise again.  I'm so excited to try the Garmin out!

I had a lot of really deep and introspective thoughts I was going to share about birthdays, and the depth of another year passing, and the importance of living each moment to the fullest... but all I'm thinking about is the adorably tiny and wonderful chocolate cake I just devoured...


... so I'll save the deep thoughts for tomorrow.

Easter for Dummies.

An Easter How-To

1.  Sleep for nearly 11 hours the night before, wake up groggy and craving fast food breakfast sausage.


2.  Remember that you can't have breakfast sausage because you can't chew anything - throw a fit and refuse to eat anything except a banana and a Starbucks chai (with soymilk, thankyouverymuch) - REJOICE because they are quite possibly the greatest thing you've ever tasted.
3.  Pout around the house until the afternoon.


4.  Dye eggs, realize that you are starving, and agree to try pancakes.
5.  Eat pancakes - REJOICE because they are quite possibly the greatest thing you've ever tasted.
6.  Whine about how much you want meat until your mommy buys you sausage tortellini.
7.  Watch How I Met Your Mother reruns and eat the first meat you've had in nearly a week - REJOICE because it is quite possibly the greatest thing you've ever tasted.


8.  Finally shower.
9.  Change your sheets.
10.  Become one with your couch because showering and changing your sheets took all of your energy.

So that's it.  There's my day in a nutshell.  Aside from the slight temper tantrum I threw this morning over not being able to have a Sausage McMuffin with Egg (next to nail polish, McDonald's sausage patties are my favorite drug), it was a day of big progress for me.  My big task for the day was "increasing jaw motion" with moist heat.  Which really meant wrapping a Bed Buddy around my chin until either my face felt like it was on fire, or my arms started to hurt, whichever came first.

Check out that jaw motion, kids.  Still not sure why I acted like I was frightened...


Overall, I'm feeling pretty good.  I'm still not 100% back to normal, and chewing is still a whole heckuva lot of work, but it was great to get some solid food in so that I felt somewhat human.  

And look!  Not super chipmunky!

Tomorrow I'm going to do some more Weight Watchers training in the morning, which hopefully doesn't completely exhaust the recovering version of me.  If it does, I'll take a nap before rehearsal.  And finally admit that I'm getting old.  

Wait... I am getting old soon!  Only two days until my birthday!  I better be able to chew some cake by then.  

That's it.  I am not exciting tonight.  Over and out.


Chipmunk cheeks.

Hello there, faithful readers... yes, all five of you that have admitted to reading this blog.

It has been an interesting few days!  Whew.  Let's just say that I'm insanely glad that I did all four wisdom teeth at once because there is no way I would have done this little adventure again.

My appointment was scheduled for 9 am on Thursday morning, and since I was going under with an IV, I had to stop eating solid food eight hours before, and stop all clear liquids two hours before.  The doctor strongly urged me to have something to drink right before that two hour cutoff, so I got up around 6:30 to throw some Gatorade and water down the hatch and have plenty of time to freak out.  My dad was nice enough to take me to the appointment, and he stayed in the room while they put in the IV, which was great.  From there... things get a little fuzzy.  I believe I told the technician that I loved her, and my dad said I was very polite and sweet to everyone there.  Which is good because now I hate them all for causing me pain.

I did take some pictures immediately following the surgery, but those are not fit to be seen by anyone.  Even me.  Horrific.  I do remember being helped out by my dad and one of the very nice women working there.  Then my dad took me to Sonic to get the blended float that I was begging for.  When I got home, I pretty much took over the couch, and then this happened for a while.


Only for the most part there was no thumbs up.  Aren't I attractive here?  I should probably go ahead and submit that to People magazine so that they begin considering me for next year's "Most Beautiful People" issue.

The first day actually went pretty well.  I slept a lot, watched some TV, and mainly just took it easy.  I started taking the prescribed Percocet before the numbness wore off (I was numb forever, it was wonderful) which undoubtedly helped with my perception of the world.  I watched a movie with my dad that night and had some soup, then went to bed with my head propped up.

Yesterday was when the fun really began.  I woke up in the morning in a good amount of pain and immediately took some Percocet.  Percocet, as it turns out, is the quickest bad relationship I've ever had.  Like any good charmer, he was incredibly helpful and caring the day I met him.  He immediately made me feel better, and was even there for me at 3 in the morning when I couldn't sleep.  Then in the morning, he promised to take care of me... but it was a false promise.  By afternoon, all I wanted was to get rid of him, but he got clingy and refused to go with a fight.

Less metaphorically speaking?  Percocet made me sicker than a dog.  And it moved fast.  I was fine for hours, and then tried to stand up to get some water and felt dizzy, woozy, and nauseous.  I laid down and fell asleep for an hour and a half (the benefit of narcotics is that they kill time well), which I hoped would help, but no dice.  By the end of the night, I had gotten very sick and kind of thought I was going to die. Luckily, I fell asleep around 9:30 and except for waking up at 11:45 to move from the couch to my very welcoming bed, I stayed asleep and felt insanely better in the morning.  Plus, I had a fun thing to greet me this morning.



Yes, kids, that's right... immediately after I made my dad buy me a large blended float from Sonic at 11 am, I made him go into the grocery store and buy me a little kid toothbrush so I wouldn't have to fight all the swelling to use my Sonicare.  And he chose a Bert and Ernie one.  Why?  Because my dad is awesome.

Today has been worlds better than yesterday.  I stopped taking the Percocet since I wanted my intestines to actually stay inside my body, and have been completely fine using just Advil.  And I finally got some real food today - my mom made me a scrambled egg with cheese this morning, and got me a chocolate milkshake this afternoon.  Plus, I think I get to attempt macaroni and cheese tonight for dinner which thrills me to no end.  I just took an insanely hot bath which felt so good to my muscles, who are not happy at me for all of this laying around on the couch nonsense.

My parents have been great nurses, but they both made me jealous today because they got to exercise.  I'm surprised at how wiped out I am from the whole thing, so it's not like I have the energy to be active, but it's hard to be sidelined like this.  Didn't someone smart and famous say something about injury and illness being a great equalizer?  Because someone smart and famous probably should have.  I can brag all day long about how I got through P90X, or I can beat myself up because I can't run an 8 minute mile... but then somebody yanks some teeth out of my mouth and it really doesn't matter.

In 10 hours, I'm paying someone to rip stuff out of my face.

Yesterday's workout:
P90X - Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps
55 minutes (ish)

Someone please explain to me how I dealt with this...


... for 90 days and didn't smash my television in.

But serious folks... this workout kinda sucked.  I'm not sure exactly why I picked Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps in the first place since it wasn't my favorite workout in the series... I probably would have been much happier with Chest and Back or Shoulders and Arms.  But it is what it is.  It was a hard workout, just like the whole P90X series, but the biggest challenge I faced was pure unadulterated boredom.  I was honestly just bored about halfway through.  The only real reason that I didn't stop was because I knew I was going to post it on here and wanted to avoid writing, "So... I started a workout... and then I bailed on it to eat cake."

Today was supposed to be a run day, but I woke up to cold weather and sore legs so I decided to just rest.  And it will actually be the first of many rest days because I am getting all four wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow.  

I am clearly thrilled about the entire situation. 

Really, I probably shouldn't be awake and blogging right now.  I should be sleeping because I will be up in about 6 hours to have my last 8 ounces of clear liquids for a while.  I already had my last solid meal for a while tonight.  It included Oreos and cupcakes.  You know, the important food groups.

To be entirely honest, I'm pretty darn scared about the whole thing.  It includes a lot of unwanted firsts for me: my first IV, my first time getting anesthesia, my first surgery... I could do without these, really.  And several people I know have had bad experiences with some part of the process so I've heard a few too many horror stories to be comfortable.  But I'm trying to be hopeful.  And will attempt to not cry on the surgeon's shoulder.  No guarantees.

Depending on how loopy I am on painkillers, I might post some gibberish tomorrow.  But no workouts for me for a week or so.  I know it's tragic, forced to sit still, watch television, and eat milkshakes... maybe I'm okay with this whole oral surgery thing after all.

Motivation? Motivation? Bueller?

So, yesterday's run: 
Couch to 5K Week Three, Day One
2.17 miles / 30:44 minutes

The run went pretty darn well.  I was lucky enough to be running in gorgeous weather, and it just felt nice. I was a little anxious about running for three minutes straight (twice!), but it was surprisingly easy.  I know I did the exact same program two years ago without much trouble, but since I did take a good amount of time off from working out regularly (read: I slacked off for a while), I was a bit worried.  I'm glad it's going so smoothly!

Today I'm completely not feeling the whole exercise thing. 



Or perhaps to put it even more attractively...


I am easily the prettiest girl in the world.


I got up early to go to some more training for Weight Watchers.  I love training, it's easily my favorite part of a new job.  It's all the fun stuff without the stress of people actually needing things from you.  Essentially it's easy money.  I like easy money.

That being said, the alarm went off a wee bit early this morning, and even if I have the best of intentions, I know that if the workout doesn't get done in the morning, it becomes a struggle.  Especially when you cave and eat a cheeseburger for lunch.  Yes, I came home from training for Weight Watchers, got in my sweatpants, and ate a cheeseburger.  It was not my proudest moment.

I had planned on doing one of my P90X workouts as cross training today, but now it's afternoon and I don't like working out in the afternoon.  This is whiny, and dumb, and hopefully I get over it and at least do something physical.  I've gotten into a rut of doing my three runs a week for Couch to 5K and assuming that is enough.  I know for a fact that's not enough.  My jeans tell me on a daily basis.

For now, my motivation will be that I don't get to look at this...


... until the workout is complete.  And I'm dying to know how crazy Gwyneth Paltrow's Healthy Eating Secrets are, so... 

Tonight, the role of dinner will be played by cookie dough and whipped cream.

There was a salad in there somewhere too, but that's not as fun to talk about.

Today was a run day, but my workout notebook is downstairs and I'm lazy, so I'll post about it tomorrow.  For now, I just want to correct a horrible thing that has happened with this blog.

Judging from the pictures I've posted thus far, you would think that I never wash my hair.  This is not true only somewhat true.  So for tonight, nothing about running, nothing about nutrition, nothing even vaguely constructive.  Just a couple pictures to prove I do, in fact, wash my hair.


The suggestion that I often make awkward, vaguely creepy faces and insist on having at least one thumb up in photos is, unlike the dirty hair myth, completely and entirely true.


Now that I have proven that I wash my hair regularly once in a while, it's bed time, for I am sleepy. 

My hair is even clean in pop art.  I knew you were worried.


Tomorrow will actually have details of my run, since, you know... this is supposed to be a running blog, not a blog about my hair.

But I guess it can be both, can't it?

Blah.

Today was a weird day.  So I'm going to ignore it for a minute and talk about last night instead!  Huzzah!

My parents and I went to a Rockies game... obviously lame car pictures are required.

Note the seatbelt: click it or ticket, my friends.  Forgive the awkward face... I honestly just wanted to show off the cute new sunglasses.  Thank you, Target.  

For those of you who, like me, are obsessed with nail polish, this is Zoya Apple.  That janky tooth used to be in line with the rest of them... wear your retainers, kids.


Aaaaaand, those are the uncomfortable pictures of me for the day.  You're welcome.

The game was okay - it got pretty chilly for wimpy girl here, and we lost badly.  But I really like baseball.  It's the epitome of summer to me... plus it's one of the few sporting events that I understand, and that involves men that I find attractive.  

Someday we'll get married.  Don't tell my boyfriend.


As for today, I'll go with a Reader's Digest version.  I went to church with my mom and then we had an amazing, waistband-busting breakfast... which I think must have been drugged because we both came home and passed out for an hour.  Then tonight I decided to try a restorative yoga class near my house. I used to take restorative classes with a friend of mine in college and loved how they made me feel, so I thought it would be a great way to stretch a little and get out of my funk.  But it wasn't a particularly great class, and I left feeling kinda tweaky.  That being said, I'm still glad I went - it's always good to try something new. 

Other than that, it was just kind of a blah day.  I felt really out of it all day, and the hour long nap probably didn't help.  Ah well.  Tomorrow is a new day, and it should be fun because I might go buy some new running shoes!  My shoes (Mizuno Wave Inspire 6) are getting pretty worn down, and I've been eyeing the new Wave Inspire 7s.  Or even... wait for it... branching out into new shoes entirely.  But change and I don't love one another, so I might just buy another pair of the ones I've got :)

We shall see!

I love dailymile...

... simply because when I look at the tab in my browser it refers to me as an "athlete."  Thanks, dailymile.  I appreciate that.

Can we stop and marvel for a minute at how good I already am at blogging every day?  Wait, I missed a day?  Oh.  That's awkward...

But not as awkward as that.


So, a slight bit of catching up to do.  I ran on Thursday - week two, day two of Couch to 5K.

Not a bad run, but not great.  The weather was interesting... good old Colorado.  When I woke up, there was snow everywhere, and thus, perfect excuse not to run.  Then I remembered that at some point, it might be fun to fit into my jeans, so I got bundled up to go to the rec center and run on the treadmill.  But by the time I actually got bundled up (things have to match, you know, Zac Efron could be on the treadmill next to me) and got to the rec center, it was gorgeous and sunny, so I ran outside.  This was probably a mistake.  Note to self: running in a thick and heavy sweatshirt is not super fun times.  But I got through it and that's what matters, really.

Eating a sweatshirt for breakfast.  I'm still deciding on my favorite part about iPhone photos... the way they make my hair look like it has never been washed or my teeth look like they've never been brushed.  I better get a call when they decide to make Deliverance 2.


Then yesterday I did probably the most entertaining workout EVER.  Forgive me in advance, because I own and have now used this:

Excuse me while I wet myself laughing.


Now as much as it pains me to say this, it actually wasn't a bad workout.  Plus, the extra ab workout from chuckling at the awkwardly scripted way in which he hits on the girls in the segments probably worked wonders.  My only complaint (aside from the overuse of the word "situation" by everyone involved) was that there was no cool down or stretch at the end.  This was less of a complaint yesterday and more of one today, when I attempted to look cool walking.  Fail.

Today was another run, day three of week two.  Overall, it was a really good run - the weather is finally gorgeous here so it felt wonderful to be outside.  I had a little trouble with pace today, and pushed myself a little too hard.  But on the plus side, I got to play with a new app on my iPhone called iMapMyRun.  It's free and uses the GPS on the phone to map the route you take, plus calculate the distance you've gone and your pace.  I like knowing everything, so that was a fun perk.  And now I want the Garmin Forerunner 305 even more... oy.  My birthday is coming up - anybody want to buy me a Garmin?!

Here we go again...

I think I've now lost track of how many blogs I've started and abandoned.  Drifting around in cyberspace are a vast array of half-hearted attempts at my "getting it" with blogging - the blog I had to keep for my writing class in college, the blog I started with the intention of posting pictures of everything I ate during the day to keep me accountable to my weight loss, the blog created simply to whine about being unemployed...

The point is, I seem to struggle with finishing things.  Until now - crossing fingers.

I've been keeping track of my workouts in a spiral notebook for almost a year now, since I began P90X last May and Tony Horton yelled at me constantly about writing everything down.  It helped keep me accountable, and I found myself learning from each workout to the next.  So now I've decided to take it to the next level and hold myself accountable to whoever may come across this blog and actually have the patience to read it.  I've recently restarted a program that I completed two summers ago called Couch to 5K, and it's the first step I will take towards hopefully becoming a real runner (!) and running my first half marathon (!!!).

Plus, I want to ramble on about myself and since that normally meets with glazed eyes, I need to send it out into cyberspace so that even if your eyes glaze over reading this, I don't have to notice.

So here goes - time to start running for that bikini!