Too. Tired. Must. Sleep. Now.

This is just to say that I am, in fact, alive.  I did not win at Operation Suck Less today because I did not have the energy to jump around like a crazy person with Chalene... I got to bed last night (still in California) around midnight, and woke up this morning at 4:30 (IN THE MORNING) to go to the airport and fly home.  Then I raced around and went to work.  But I did get the amazing opportunity to meet this guy today...

David Kirchhoff, otherwise known as the President and CEO of Weight Watchers and the author of the awesome blog, Man Meets Scale

I had already known from reading his blog that Mr. Kirchhoff was a pretty cool gentleman, but getting to shake his hand (yes, I did get twitterpated, thank you for asking) and listen to him just talk about Weight Watchers and the inherent problems with weight management and all sorts of stuff was so profoundly motivating.  I may not have had the energy to exercise after the meeting with him, but you can be sure that I came home and ate some brown rice with lean chicken and vegetables.  And please don't think that I actually cooked that.  Tokyo Joe's for the win.


Now it's time for some serious sleeping so that I can get up and run before my meeting tomorrow morning.  Which should be easy since I'm falling asleep sitting up and drooling a little right now.  I'm a pretty girl.

Taking a cue from one of my favorite bloggers...

I am starting Operation Suck Less in honor of Suck Less, Whine More.  But I can't add more whining to my regimen because, as you know if you read my last post, I am already in tip top whining shape.

And where, exactly, has all my whining gotten me?  Oh, that's right... crying in bed yesterday after running 3.66 miles when I was planning on running 9 miles.  Really?  I still ran 3.66 miles!  Six months ago, I was not running 3.66 miles.  Running a mile seemed a little challenging.  I have come a long way!  So what if I didn't run 9 miles - I ran 11 miles last week!  And not in the course of the week, but all in one day!  At one time!  I couldn't have done that even three months ago.  Three years ago, I couldn't even run without getting horribly out of breath after only a few seconds.  I let myself get emotional yesterday, and while it wasn't the best response, I'm not going to beat myself up about it, because it's okay.  Everything's okay.  I'm alive.  I'm healthy (as long as you don't count the fact that my bloodstream is currently 90% candy orange slices).   And I regularly get punched in the arm (in a good way) by an amazing blogging community filled with motivating people like Amylee (who is, in case you didn't know, gorgeous... on top of being a running rockstar and finishing the Top of Utah Marathon AND qualifying for Boston!).  So am I giving up like I whined about yesterday?

Hell no, I'm not!

Instead, I am going to start sucking less.  For me, this means the following:

  1. Stop beating yourself up for not constantly being God's gift to exercise.  Miss a workout?  Life goes on.  Ran 1 mile instead of 10?  It'll be okay.
  2. Don't allow rule #1 to turn into "I don't feel like running 10 miles, so I'll do 2 crunches instead and then take a nap."  While beating yourself up is no longer required, effort is still required.  You don't feel like doing a HIIT workout today?  Too bad.  You are required to at least attempt it.  If you start and you are in pain or feel awful, that's one thing, but no skipping workouts just because you don't feel like getting sweaty or you'd rather eat Chick-fil-a.
  3. Listen to your body.  When your knees hurt, ice them and stop jumping around like a maniac trying to impress Chalene Johnson.  When you're tired, rest.  When you are thirsty, have some water.  When you are hungry, don't listen to the voice that tells you to buy Oreos.  Eat a freaking banana.
  4. Floss.  Seriously.
  5. And, perhaps most importantly given yesterday's emo kid post... FINALLY REGISTER FOR AND RUN THE ROCK 'N ROLL DENVER HALF MARATHON.

I know.  I needed to do this a while ago.  And I can cough up a million excuses for why I didn't, but let's be honest... when you get right down to it, I'd say it was 50% fear and 50% laziness.  Neither of which should be part of my running.  So I am shutting up and registering.  And I have a backup bribe in case I start to chicken out - after I register, I get to pick out a new outfit for race day.  I will absolutely finish registration if I know there's shopping at the end.  It's kind of the best way to bribe me into anything.

So that's it.  Operation Suck Less... commence!

Seriously considering giving up.

The nine mile run turned into a less than four mile run because I got lost several times on a stupid path that everyone swore to me would be easy to follow.  Surprise!  It wasn't.  My shins were killing me the first two miles and all I could think was that I was running on broken legs and not realizing it because I've now read too many horror stories and am paranoid.  After about 2.5 miles, the shins didn't hurt anymore, but my hips were throbbing.  At 3.5 miles, I got lost to the point that I couldn't even find my way back to the path with Google Maps and I'm now convinced that the path stopped existing.  In trying to find the stupid God forsaken path, I realized that I was less than a quarter mile from the hotel.  So I gave up.  My Garmin said that I went 3.66 miles - this does not include the time that I spent walking around several times desperately trying to understand where I was.

I haven't had a good run in two weeks and I'm now to the point where I'm wondering if I didn't register for the half marathon on purpose, because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it.  The farthest I've now gotten is 11 miles, which I've done once and it sucked and really, it was only about 10 miles because the last mile was me walking back to David's apartment because once again... lost as hell.  I just think doing the half marathon at this point would be stupid.  I don't feel prepared.  I honestly feel like I've just wasted three months of my life on this and am really miserable.  I could have just been doing Turbo Fire this whole time and probably lost the 10 pounds that are bugging me, but no, I had to run a half marathon.  Well... look where that got me.

I apologize if you're actually reading this, because I know this is probably the whiniest post I've ever made.  I'm just feeling like a failure and incredibly bitter.  And hating California.  I really hate California.  I don't understand why people live here.  The one redeeming feature of California, to me, is Disneyland, and you know what?  Disney World is better.  Screw you, California.  I am counting the days until I can get home.

Guess who didn't run 9 miles today?!

Don't get too excited, kid... You're still doing it tomorrow.

Today's workouts:
Sculpt 30

Due to many factors (and no, laziness was not one of them, but I can't blame you for guessing) I decided to do my long run tomorrow and just attempt fitness today.  I'm backing up a little bit and restarting the last 30 days of Turbo Fire because, let's face it, I haven't exactly done well with it and I'd rather not look worse in my "after" pictures than I did in the horrendous "before" pictures.  This means that I'll be in the middle of the hardest TF week when I run the half, but... we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  

I wish I could say that jumping back into Turbo Fire was super easy and went incredibly well.  But everyone keeps telling me that lying is a sin.  So instead I'll be honest and say that I had nothing to eat pre-workout except for orange slices.  And I don't mean orange slices like the fruit.

But I cranked the air conditioning in the hotel room and got through it.  Sculpt 30 was a beast... HIIT 15 was worse.  I kind of thought I was going to throw up.  I also thought that during all the jumps at the end of HIIT 15 I was going to fall through the floor.  I'm sure the people in the room below us were thrilled with my existence.

Now it's time to force myself to sleep so that I can get up and run tomorrow.  Best of luck to me.

Friday had way more than 15 things and they all sucked.

So, I was planning on returning to blogging yesterday for 15 Thing Friday after being absent for several days (read: skipping workouts and eating my way through Disneyland and having a slight breakdown after a guy took a picture of David and I where I looked at least 4 months pregnant).  Then Friday happened.  It was a mixture of great moments, like having a nice breakfast with David and his friend August who is wonderful, and horrible moments, like my failed workout of the day.  And when I went to actually write my 15 Thing post, this is what happened:

1.  I just had probably the biggest running fail of my 2011 running career... and it sucked.  I went to the gym with David to do a nice, easy treadmill run, and made it through about 12 minutes before I just quit.  My left knee was killing me and I had horrible shin splints in both legs.  I'm now sitting under a fleece blanket with bags of ice on my knee and praying to the running gods that I will be able to make it through this half marathon with both legs still attached.


And then I stared at the window for about 20 minutes before I couldn't face it anymore.  Because I'm pretty sure if I'd finished it, the other 14 things were just going to be different reasons for why I suck.

Luckily, I have a really wonderful boyfriend who let me have a long cry on his shoulder and then watched me shove half a BBQ chicken sandwich and a creamsicle in my face and still loved me.  I am a lucky girl.

Incidentally, this is right before I left for my 11 mile run last Sunday.  Otherwise known as the last run I did, unless you count the 10 minutes on the treadmill yesterday.  Gosh, I can't imagine why I don't get faster and faster every week!

Right now I'm in another airport (Bob Hope in Burbank which is a VAST IMPROVEMENT over LAX) about to fly to San Jose to meet my family.  Tomorrow is (fingers crossed) my second to last long run before the half.  Which means tomorrow I should have something productive to post.  For now... you get pirate Jessica.  With a semi-hook.  Enjoy.

Falling off the face of the Earth.

As usual, I am the best blogger ever and post my witty repartee several times a day.

Sunday's run:
Half Marathon Training Week Twelve, Day Three
11.05 miles/2:20:40

Technically speaking, according to the training program, Sunday's run should have been a nine miler, but I decided to make it ten miles instead for two reasons.  The first was that I was feeling a little unnecessarily and moronically cocky after my great nine mile run last week and thought it wouldn't be a problem at all to tack an extra mile on this week.  The second was that I was still feeling a little unsure about this whole idea: "Don't worry about making the final jump from 10 miles in practice to 13.1 miles in the race. Inspiration will carry you to the finish line, particularly if you taper the final week."  For some reason, an extra one or two miles doesn't seem so tough, but an extra three?  I had my doubts.  So I decided to make Sunday's run ten miles, next Sunday's run eleven miles, and then taper on the last weekend before the half.

So why does it say 11.05 miles up there?

Somehow, despite mapping out my course in advance as well as having an iPhone with GPS and Google Maps just waiting for me, I got lost.  In actuality, I did only run 10 miles... but I ended up having to walk an extra mile to get back to David's apartment.  I would love to tell you that it felt just fine after having run that far, but there were a lot of four letter words involved and none of them were said quietly.

I really don't know how to feel about this run.  It was all over the place.  There were times that I felt really awesome and like I could conquer everything, and then at one point I actually had to stop running, lean against a wall, and sob into my hands.  The route that I mapped out with David's help was really flat, which was greatly appreciated, but not what I expected.  I forget that David really lives in a city, and that I really hate cities.  I'm used to running around my tiny little town in Colorado.  This was an intimidating run.  

But I'm proud of myself for getting through it and I'm incredibly glad it's over.  I think that I might just call it a day and make this my longest training run.  I can do 9 miles next week and maybe 7 miles the week after as a taper, and then just go for it with the half.  My dad (who, by the by, did nonsense like ultramarathons) said that if I lived through the 11 miles, then I will be able to finish the half no problem.  So now at least I have someone to blame if my legs fall off.  Love you, Daddy.

Today was supposed to be a Turbo Fire and slow easy run day and it turned into a mostly sitting around and doing nothing day.  I don't know why, but exercise seemed completely unbearable today.  Not my typical "I'm lazy and sweating is bothersome" kind of excuse, but really... I felt like crying when I even thought about trying Turbo Fire.  Which kind of sucks because the next two days will be spent in Disneyland (that's definitely not the part that sucks) so while I'll be walking a lot, I'll also be eating everything in sight and making time for running or punching and kicking the air around me will probably not be a big priority.  So I might not actually exercise again until Friday.  I'm trying not to beat myself up about it because, hey... a few years ago, it would have been amazing if I'd intentionally exercised two days in one week.  

But I am still beating myself up about it.  If anyone has a cure for self loathing, please send it to me.

15 Thing Friday: Stuck in an airport edition

I wrote this whole thing in the airport last night, so it can rightly be called 15 Thing Friday, instead of 15 Things Formerly Associated with Friday... but it didn't publish.  I can't imagine why since I am such a patient person and definitely waited to see if it had published successfully before I slammed my computer shut and ran onto the plane.  That sounds like me.

So... here's a 15 Thing Friday.  On Saturday.  It's like Christmas in July!  You're welcome.

1.  I love Southwest Airlines.  Really.  I love them.  I love their adorable commercials, I love that I can check a bag and not pay ridiculous fees, and let's be honest... mostly I love that they give me unlimited snacks.  Especially when that means golden Oreos and the flight attendant who gives them to me hands me two extra packages, winks at me, and says he won't tell.  Bestie.

2.  But you know what I don't love?  Delayed flights.  And this beast is delayed by 40 minutes (fingers crossed it stays that way) so I will be all kinds of grumpy when I get to Burbank.  Which is really not unlike me normally, but at least this time I will have an excuse.  Luckily, I know what is waiting for me when I land.

David and Disney are my two favorite reasons to get on a plane.

3.  I got my nails done today, and unfortunately learned during the appointment that this weekend is homecoming weekend for the local high school.  I learned this when two girls, one in a cheerleading uniform and one in a poms uniform, came in and started yakking endlessly about which boys they thought were cute, which girls they thought were ugly, and why they thought that some kid named Connor got arrested in the middle of first period.  I'd forgotten how much I really don't miss high school. It made me very glad that I'm kind of a grown up now and don't feel in constant competition with my fellow cheerleaders about who is prettiest and thinnest and has the hottest boyfriend.  Oh wait.  I was overweight and in the marching band.  Did I mention I don't miss high school?

Yes, I spoke at my high school graduation.  Yes, it was awesome.  Yes, I am an idiot for losing the only hard copy of the speech that I had.  Because it was a tearjerker.

4.  My next two long runs will be done in California.  So on top of running a stupid amount of miles, I will be doing it in places I am completely unfamiliar with.  Thank God I have an iPhone because Google maps is the only reason I ever have any real understanding of where I am... aside from things like "I'm next to Taco Bell," which always makes sense to me.

5.  As excited as I am to see David as soon as I get off the plane, I am secretly hoping that there is food involved.  And by "secretly hoping" I mean that I've already told him what pizza I want him to order.

6.  I packed three books for the trip and I feel intellectual.  Please disregard that the three books are Intuitive Eating (a nutrition related self help book), The Man of my Dreams (possibly chick lit), and Kingdom Keepers: Disney After Dark (a young adult book).  I read plenty of literature in college.  I'm over it.

7.  I also packed my knitting and several discs of Frasier.  Because I am really 80 years old.

8.  I felt like a serious pansy today because for fun, I weighed my heaviest carry on at one of the check-in scales.  I had been whining for an hour about how hard it was to carry.  It weighed 15 pounds - less than I was using for all of my back exercises by the end of P90X.  Maybe I should pick up a weight again and you know... lift it a couple times.

9.  It's 8:15 pm.  That's bedtime, right?  

 10.  I lead the best Weight Watchers meeting of my life this morning.  Really, there's no topping this one.  I sang "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" and "Impossible" (two different versions of Cinderella = I am awesome), wore fairy wings, and waved a magic wand.  All while leading a meeting.  I wish I had a video of it.  It was spectacular.  And probably gloriously embarrassing.

11.  I'm wearing a scarf today.  For the first time in months.  I am finally content.

I know I look demonic, but I am only willing to take so many awkward pictures of myself in the airport. Like, 50 at most.

12.  I really hope they don't offer me golden Oreos.  I am tired and vulnerable.  That's just cruel.

13.  I had to say goodbye to Bonnie for two whole weeks today.  She saw my bags and knew something was wrong... she wouldn't sit by me and made sad faces in my direction.  When I hugged her before I left, I cried into her fur.  She wasn't upset.  Actually, she didn't even notice... I was holding treats.  

14.  Tomorrow morning I will be watching football with David.  This is what my mom would call a love offering.  Like when David watched Say Yes to the Dress with me.  I am really not a football fan.  Playing with the drumline in college meant going to all the games and pretending that I cared.  I really think it sharpened my acting skills.  So tomorrow I will be making food, eating food, and smiling politely a lot.  And probably wondering if Keeping Up with the Kardashians is on.

15.  If you too will be watching football tomorrow and need something to distract yourself or others... do yourself a favor and make these chicken strips.  We will be cooking together in spirit!  They are delightful and not greasy, so you can trick yourself into thinking that you're making a super healthy choice.  Which means happiness!  We're friends, so... I want you to be happy.

Super proud.

Today I blew off my tempo run and Turbo Fire and ate half a loaf of bread.

I'll come back tomorrow when I might have something fitness related to blog about.  Since, you know... this was supposed to be a fitness blog and all...

Triple Tangent Twednesday!

I feel like this is going to come off as more of a confessional than a bunch of tangents...

1.  I had three dinners tonight.  I mean, kind of.  First, I had some Honey Baked Ham that I literally peeled off the bone and shoved into my face while standing over the kitchen sink.

(also I just discovered Picnik again and FINALLY I understand how the cool bloggers do these captions... now I get to be that awkward kid who is a week behind every cool thing)

Then since that wasn't enough, I made pasta.  Okay, that's a lie... I took cold pasta that was sitting in my fridge, made sure it wasn't completely slimy, and dumped it into a pot with some pasta sauce.  Then I added about a half pound of cheese to it and scarfed it down.  The bottomless pit then required a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  And a cupcake.  Really, I am impressive tonight.

2.  I attempted cleaning again today.  It went pretty well for an hour or so, but it never ends well because I get overwhelmed and frustrated and then I eat ham over the kitchen sink.  You have to understand what I mean when I say "cleaning" - I don't get out the dust rag and polish the silver.  When I say "I'm going to try to clean today," I mean that I am going to try desperately to wade through the enormous amounts of crap that I have somehow collected over the years.  Like the stuffed gorilla wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt and backwards baseball cap that sings "Hot, Hot, Hot" that some fool got me for some birthday or something.  It sits on my desk mocking me daily.  What the hell do you do with something like that?!  Soon I need to just load up a U-Haul and park it in front of Goodwill and tell them to have fun.  

SERIOUSLY?!  People have put this on YouTube.  Yes, I'm the freak that Googled "gorilla that sings hot hot hot" but REALLY?!  Watch that and tell me that thing isn't Satanic.  Does anyone want this?  I will send it to you.  Free of charge.  I'll even drop some spare change in the envelope.  Get it out of my house.

3.  I went to the Boulder Running Company today to stock up on the single servings of Cytomax for a while - I'll be doing my next two long runs in California, visiting David and then visiting my sister.  Which means I'll whine just that much more because on top of running way too many freaking miles, I'll be doing it somewhere I don't know.  But I got my Cytomax, so I can't whine too much.  I also bought some Shot Bloks to try and felt super hardcore and like a real runner.  Then I looked at the package.  Guess who didn't realize that they had caffeine?  

I'm going to just be a blasty-blast to hang out with after a few of those bad boys. 

While I was busy feeling like a badass because I was buying stuff real runners buy, I thought I'd check out some compression tights because you know... my legs hate me.  So I was happily contemplating some tights from Zoot when I turned the package over and saw the price.  $120?!!!  You're kidding, right?  That's how much my shoes cost me, and I almost cried when I paid for those too.  Sorry, legs, no compression tights for you.

T is for Tuesday. And TOXIC.

Today's run:
Half Marathon Training Week 12, Day 1 (30 minute easy run)
2.78 miles/40:00

Today's second workout because I thought I could hack it:
Sculpt 30
183 calories/28:17

Those were the two workouts that I did today before I realized that my body was going to descend into darkness.  I don't have a lot to say except that I feel like death.  I have all fingers and toes crossed that I don't actually have some vile disease because I really want to be able to fly to California on Friday to see David.  And I already have enough issues with flying alone and at night, so flying alone and at night and fighting the flu is so not happening.  Which means no David... no Disneyland... no Dole Whip.  Inappropriate.

If you are reading this, please send healthy thoughts my way.  I feel a little like I did on the second day of Percocet with my wisdom teeth... right before I spent several hours with my head in a toilet crying to my mom that I was not going to make it through the night.  Let's not hit that point again, shall we?

Long runs take away my will to live.

Okay... that's a little dramatic.  But they do take away my will to blog.  So... that explains yesterday's silence.

Yesterday's run:
Half Marathon Training Week 11, Day 3 (9 mile run)
9.48 miles/2:00:00

Today's workout:
Fire 45 EZ and Stretch 10
423 calories/44:53

The long run actually went incredibly well and I was thrilled!  I was so scared that it was going to be like last week's hell run, but no!  It was great!  I think one of the biggest things was that I did finally settle on a Camelbak and took it out for this run...

The Camelbak is now my new best friend.  Annadel will be my life partner... sorry, David.  I honestly believe that having the extra water (and straight water, as opposed to Cytomax) made all the difference in the world.  I felt better throughout the whole run, I was never thirsty, and I didn't finish and immediately call my mom begging for ice water.  I was afraid it was going to chafe like crazy and it didn't.  I was afraid it was going to bounce all over the place and it didn't.  I was afraid the sound of the water sloshing would bug me (lots of reviews complained about that) and it didn't (partially because I had music blaring in my ears).  My only complaint was that it seemed to be leaking slightly... but honestly, it just made my lower back a little damp which helped keep me cool, and there was plenty of water.  I drank to my little heart's content and still had water left in the reservoir (I refuse to call it a bladder because that's freaking weird) when I got home, which means that it should be absolutely perfect for the half marathon.  Really.  This thing is my bestie.

I tried to maintain around an 11:00 or 11:30 pace for my running intervals, which I did pretty darn well at, especially given all the stupid hills I ran up.  Including my walking intervals, my average pace was about 12:39, which is only a bit higher than the average pace of my tempo runs.  That kind of kicks ass.  That means that an average pace of 13:00 would be totally feasible for my first half, which would mean finishing in under 3 hours.  That's all I want!  I'd be thrilled with a sub 2:45, but that might be something to shoot for with my second or third half.  Really, my only goal is to finish standing, but under 3 hours would really be delightful.

Alas... as great as the run was, the aftermath was not so great.  I rushed through stretching and skipped icing so that I could go to church, which I think eventually bit me in the ass.  I took in plenty of calories (cough bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit cough) and let myself rest.  And by rest I mean lay in bed and catch up on blog reading.  I definitely did take awkward pictures in case you were wondering.  It looked like this:

Actually, it was more like this...

Until I got hungry and grumpy, and then it looked like bitch face here.

But even with stretching (I did do quite a bit before church) and lots of carbs and plenty of rest... in the afternoon, I crashed.  I crashed hard.  And I turned into this weepy, emotional wreck who couldn't face blogging because she was too busy crying to her boyfriend about how she didn't want to watch football when she got to LA.  To be fair, I really don't like football... but I don't think it was worth crying over.  I mean, unless you use "I ran 9 miles this morning" as an excuse for everything, including irrational behavior.  Which, I do.  Thank goodness.

And so, I went to bed and skipped other stuff like blogging and being a tolerable human being.  Forgive me.  I was weepy, though, so if I had blogged, it probably just would have been a sad poem.  Consider yourselves spared.

When I got up this morning and still wanted to chop my own hips off, I thought TurboFire was definitely going to kill me.  But I did it!  I got through it!  I did make pretty much everything low impact, but when I compared my stats from today's workout to other times I've done Fire 45 EZ, I realized that by doing everything low impact and taking it easy on my joints, I'd only burned about 40 fewer calories than when I take it high impact.  Seriously?  Forty calories?  What is that, two cups of lettuce?  Stupid.

15 Things Unrelated to a Day

1.  I missed 15 Thing Friday because Friday was a complete mess.  So these 15 things are rebels and not associated with Friday.  They're over Friday.  But really, who isn't?

I probably just lost 5 readers because of this video.  I'm sorry if your ears are bleeding.

2.  I couldn't think of a second thing right away because my brain cells are completely shot, so I did what anyone would do experiencing writer's block with the internet handy: I got on Facebook.  I just lost ten minutes of my life to Facebook.  Facebook is evil.

3.  After several weeks of swearing I'd get one, I finally bought a Camelbak today.  Correction: I bought two Camelbaks today.  One thing you may not know about me is that I am incredibly indecisive.  If I'm making a big purchase (that isn't a ridiculous impulse buy that I will cry about later), I usually spend a week just reading all the reviews I can on the item(s) in question.  I stalk Amazon for reviews.  If something has a single one star review, I will agonize over that one star review.  This is stupid, but true.  Anyway, I couldn't decide between the Annadel and the Charm.  So I bought both of them.  Ready to be shocked?  I still can't decide.  The Annadel is a little heavier and doesn't have a clip for the bite valve, but the shoulder straps are much softer, it has more room for stuff I may want to stash, and it has a chest strap, which could go be good or bad, I'm not sure.  And it's pink, which is a plus.  The Charm is lighter, smaller, and does have a clip for the bite valve, but it isn't as soft, it doesn't have a chest strap, and it seems to bounce a whole lot more when I awkwardly run through my living room with it on.  And it has daisies, and I love daisies.  Damnit.  I will be forced to decide in the morning, so we'll see.

4.  I weighed in this morning because it's the 10th and I have to weigh in by the 10th of every month or feel the wrath of the Weight Watchers gods.  Somehow, miraculously, I was within my range.  This means that in 9 days, I lost 5 pounds, because that's how high my weight was when I got back from Florida.  All I can say is HALLELUJAH.  

5.  My teeth started to ache randomly today, and haven't really stopped.  I've started imagining my teeth falling out one by one and all the dental hygienists who have told me to floss standing there and laughing at me.  I put "floss" on my to do list.  Stupid mouth.

6.  I run nine miles tomorrow morning and every time I think about it, I kind of want to cry.  I am hoping the Camelbak helps, because I can't handle another run like last week.  The half marathon is now 29 days away, and I have to be honest... I'm ready for it to be over.  I had hoped to run the Rock 'n Roll Las Vegas in December, but I'm going to see.  I might be a one half marathon girl.

7.  I go back to California and visit David in 5 days.  And after a glorious week with him, I go visit my sister!  I am ready to pee my pants I'm so excited.  Jessica, you've just run 9 miles, what are you going to do next?  GO TO DISNEYLAND!

8.  Did I mention I run nine miles tomorrow morning?  And did I also mention that my right knee is throbbing and my stomach is giving me serious trouble?  This will be an adventure.

9.  The number of miles I will run tomorrow.  I know I am a broken record, but I am terrified.

10.  I had a single fruit today.  And I mean that - I had a single kiwi.  I did have a whole lot of grilled peppers at lunch, but I'm not sure they count because they were on top of a hot dog.  Fruit and vegetable consumption fail.

11.  I did not buy an Almond Snickers for tomorrow morning because I want to experiment some more with finding good pre-run fuel for me.  Okay, I lied.  I forgot to buy an Almond Snickers and I'm panicking.  Maybe a banana and some peanut butter would do the trick.

12.  The more I think about it, the less I want to floss my teeth, even if I am scared that they will all fall out.  I really hate flossing.  Maybe if I had this neato invention, I would be dreading it less.

13.  Now I desperately want cupcakes.  If only this girl could come live in my house and bake me stuff.  If you are not familiar with How Sweet It Is... GO.  Read.  Obsess over how amazing everything she makes looks.  I dare you to come back here and tell me you're not drooling.

14.  I bought the book Intuitive Eating from Amazon and started reading it yesterday.  So far I'm pretty much in love.  I think Weight Watchers is amazing, and I'm still so grateful for what that program has helped me accomplish, and I am honored to be able to share it with others and see them reach their goals.  Weight Watchers is a fabulous weight loss program.  But what I have learned is that weight maintenance is so much harder than weight loss - the transition from being in "weight loss mode" to being in "normal mode" is insanely difficult, and I'm afraid I never really got to "normal mode."  I think this book is going to help me do it, and I'm so excited to embark on that journey.

15.  Okay, this one's depressing and really ill-fitting in a mostly amusing post... but I am done with death.  No more deaths close to me are allowed for the year 2011.  I started this blog well into 2011, so most of you (read: everyone but David) don't know how the last year has gone.  I lost my grandfather last November - he was the only grandparent I had a real relationship with, and he was suffering badly for several months, so it was incredibly tough to take.  Plus, I was in Florida, and still feel guilty that I wasn't here for him.  Then I lost my dog in January.  She was my baby, and I loved her so very much... and I missed seeing her again by two days.  She needed to be put down only two days before I made it home from Florida.  Do you see a trend in guilt rising here?  Last week, my grandfather's widow (not my grandmother, who unfortunately passed away before I was born) was admitted to the hospital and needed surgery on Wednesday.  She was recovering well on Thursday, took a bad turn on Friday, and passed away early this morning.  She was in her 90s and in increasingly bad health, but it was still a surprise given how well she was doing the day of and the day after surgery.  This is the main reason that 15 Thing Friday didn't happen - I couldn't focus.  I still can't really focus.  She and I were not incredibly close, but I'm starting to learn something about death... each death that affects you brings back the feelings of all the other ones, especially if they are recent.  So while I am sad at her passing, I am also overwhelmed by the fact that it has brought back all the sadness and guilt I feel from the passing of my grandfather and my dog.  If I'm a terrible blogger for a while, it's because I'm overwhelmed right now.  Forgive me.

I am impressive.

I washed my hair today!

You're welcome.

Triple Tangent Twednesday!

I almost actually posted this on Tuesday, but I'm starting to think maybe it's good that it's Triple Tangent Twednesday.  Though, honestly, today I'm feeling a little bit more like this girl with her WTF Wednesday tradition.  Bitter is my new thing.

1.  I've been working on my housewife skills lately (David is simultaneously intrigued and freaked out right now) and pretending I can cook.  My parents and David and other people that blindly love me will tell me that I am a great cook, but here's the thing... I'm really good at cooking maybe 5 things.  And I mean it, those 5 things are delightfully delicious.  But people who can actually cook can cook lots of things.  And I'm learning that I'm not one of those people.  My meatballs?  Delectable.  My chicken fingers?  Fabulous.  The BBQ chicken burgers I made the other night?  Laughable.  Go, drool at those pictures, and then know that it's not going to happen.  And let's not even mention the macaroni salad that I made from a Weight Watchers recipe (normally a good source, really!) that was essentially inedible.  But last night, I made chili. Oh good Lord, that chili.  I started with a Weight Watchers recipe, and then got obsessive and Googled "how to make chili" and learned lots of chili secrets and ended up kind of making up my own recipe as I went along.  And you know what?  It was amazing.  If I could marry that chili, I would.

Topped with sour cream and cheese and served with cornbread.  Required.

2.  Today I tried to clean my bedroom.  See, there's something I haven't told all of you... in fact, I haven't told lots of people.  My room is a disaster area.  I mean this.  I'd show you a picture, but that's too much.  And I say that having shown you many pictures of my sweaty, unwashed self.  You can ask David about it if you want, because once I made the horrible mistake of showing him and every time I remember that, I cry.  And I'm not being dramatic.  I can't watch any of the hoarding shows because I am afraid that I will understand them.

I just don't know how to part with things.  I mean, some stuff is easy, like random things that are broken, things that are clearly trash, clothing that I don't like anymore.  Some stuff is even fun, like clothing that I stopped fitting into 30 pounds ago.  But then there's everything else.  I don't actually consider myself a hoarder, because I rarely have the mentality of "But what if I need this later?!"  For me, it's a problem of being a sentimental sap.  Today, I was going through clothing and doing pretty well at weeding stuff out, until I got to the back of my closet where all of my sweatshirts are.  And I froze.  I may have broken out in a cold sweat.  Because hanging there are maybe 7 sweatshirts from high school.  How do I get rid of my high school sweatshirts?!  If I get rid of them, no one will know where I went to high school!  And yes, I have moments of logic, when I know that the best use of those sweatshirts is to keep someone warm, and they can't do that in the back of my closet.  But does it make it any easier to put the damn things into the giveaway bag?  Absolutely not.

3.  Um... I don't remember when I last washed my hair.  It might have been a week ago today.  It might have been a week ago yesterday.  It might have been a month ago.  This is the problem with not having a reason to leave the house.  But wait... I have a reason to leave the house tomorrow and will I wash my hair?  Um.  Maybe I'll just go for dreadlocks.

I ran two days in a row and didn't light on fire!

Today's run:
Half Marathon Training Week 11, Day 2 (30 minute tempo run)
3.25 miles/40:00

So... I accidentally did my tempo run today.  This was not on my agenda for the day, please understand.  I strongly believe in my running three days a week plan.  I remember the first time (and until today, I thought the last time) that I ran two days in a row.  It was my first time through Couch to 5K back in 2009, and I thought my legs were going to fall off.  I believe I cried.  So I decided then and there that I would not run two days in a row again.  Now, please, let's ignore the clear logic here that I'm lighter and fitter now than I was in 2009... bear with me.  Old habits die really hard around here.

But I had kind of a tough day.  There's a whole lot going on in my personal life right now, and since it's messy and complicated and annoying, I will spare you the details... the point that is important to make for the purposes of my selfish blogging needs is that I was grumpy today.  Little Miss Bonnie woke me up at about 6:30 barking her fool head off this morning.  Normally, not a huge deal since I am a morning person, but I'm pretty sure I was smack dab in the middle of a REM cycle because I about hit the roof and stabbed that puppy.  I didn't.  Don't worry.  But it made me groggy and grumpy and weird.  Which is never a good way to start a day.

On top of that, I've been spending the last couple days sitting on my couch.  Really.  That's it.  Yesterday, I went for my run in the morning, and then pretty much stayed on my couch for the rest of the day.  Today, I woke up and then sat on my couch for hours playing Fruit Ninja because I am so cool.  After about an hour, I had a pounding headache from staring at that tiny screen, so I tried to be productive and clean (HAHAHAHA).  Then afternoon happened.  And I hadn't left my house all day.  Let's be honest, I hadn't gotten out of my pajamas.  Okay, let's be super honest... I hadn't brushed my teeth.

So I decided I needed to get out, and I realized I wanted to run.  I was grumpy and feeling kind of down and disappointed in myself (I fail at cleaning) and I just needed an outlet.  For some reason, Turbo Fire sounded awful today, so a run it was.  And I originally planned to just run for a while and not worry about anything, but apparently being pissed off really fuels a run.  I was moving along at a pretty quick pace, so about halfway through, I just decided to make it my tempo run.  Which means I can sleep in tomorrow.  Yeehaw!  Plus, it helped my mood drastically.  I wish I could say that it helped me get off the couch and stop eating, but... I don't want to lie to you guys.

Also, it was cold outside (55 degrees!) and I needed to wear long sleeves.  That was relatively delightful.  And I tried out my new SPIbelt!  I ordered it a while ago on a whim because pink was on sale and I decided I had to have it.  It was inexpensive, and after one run, I believe I love it.  I still haven't gotten to the point where I need gels or shot bloks or anything on my runs, but I used it to carry my cell phone and clip my iPod shuffle and it seemed to work well!  Disregard that I wore it like a lame fanny pack around my waist...

Yeah... pretty embarrassing...

That's it.  No more awkward pictures.  But luckily... it's TRIPLE TANGENT TWEDNESDAY time!  Stay tuned :)