Monday, September 26, 2011

Seriously considering giving up.

The nine mile run turned into a less than four mile run because I got lost several times on a stupid path that everyone swore to me would be easy to follow.  Surprise!  It wasn't.  My shins were killing me the first two miles and all I could think was that I was running on broken legs and not realizing it because I've now read too many horror stories and am paranoid.  After about 2.5 miles, the shins didn't hurt anymore, but my hips were throbbing.  At 3.5 miles, I got lost to the point that I couldn't even find my way back to the path with Google Maps and I'm now convinced that the path stopped existing.  In trying to find the stupid God forsaken path, I realized that I was less than a quarter mile from the hotel.  So I gave up.  My Garmin said that I went 3.66 miles - this does not include the time that I spent walking around several times desperately trying to understand where I was.

I haven't had a good run in two weeks and I'm now to the point where I'm wondering if I didn't register for the half marathon on purpose, because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it.  The farthest I've now gotten is 11 miles, which I've done once and it sucked and really, it was only about 10 miles because the last mile was me walking back to David's apartment because once again... lost as hell.  I just think doing the half marathon at this point would be stupid.  I don't feel prepared.  I honestly feel like I've just wasted three months of my life on this and am really miserable.  I could have just been doing Turbo Fire this whole time and probably lost the 10 pounds that are bugging me, but no, I had to run a half marathon.  Well... look where that got me.

I apologize if you're actually reading this, because I know this is probably the whiniest post I've ever made.  I'm just feeling like a failure and incredibly bitter.  And hating California.  I really hate California.  I don't understand why people live here.  The one redeeming feature of California, to me, is Disneyland, and you know what?  Disney World is better.  Screw you, California.  I am counting the days until I can get home.

2 comments:

  1. Know why you're having sucha hard time? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T COMMIT!!! Get registered and get out there and run it. I guarantee that you will feel so proud of yourself. 11 miles is plenty preparation for a half marathon- promise. And know what? They have signs and people pointing the way so you don't get lost :).

    Maybe the best thing to do for you and your workouts is just to do some out and back routes or smaller loops in places where you are familiar with the area.

    Chin up, sweetie. You got this.

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  2. @Amylee

    You are a smart lady, you know that? Thank you - I needed that.

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