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Triple Tangent Tuesday!

It's a miracle.  I am actually updating my blog on a Tuesday.  You can all now breathe a collective sigh of relief - life is back to normal.  I mean... as normal as I get.

Which we all know isn't too terribly normal.  Enjoy the whole no-makeup, badly-in-need-of-a-wax eyebrows, and filthy hair thing - totally going to be the "it" look on the runways this fall.  You're welcome.


1.  With all of the fun, fun free time that I've had lately (read: I'm begging for another job I'm so bored) I am getting to experience the joys of daytime TV.  And inevitably, I watch something good in the morning, then turn the TV on in the afternoon and it's something terrible, on the exact same channel.  Today's example is this gem.

Has anyone seen this?!

Easily one of the worst things I've seen on television in a very long time... and I watch infomercials for fun, so that's saying something.  Seriously.  I can't decide what part of this show is the worst part, because it's all so bad... it's excessively (and obnoxiously) dramatic, the acting is painful, and even though I've sat through several episodes now (shut up), I still don't care about a single one of the characters.  

Was this how high school was for you?  Maybe I just lived a really boring teenage life.  This would not surprise me as I don't live a super exciting life now... but in high school, I did nothing.  I went to school, I hung out with my friends.  I never went to parties where there was drinking or anything.  Mostly I just ate too much and embarrassed myself in public... nothing has changed.


Senior Prom - 2005.


2.  That first tangent made me stroll down memory lane with iPhoto for a while.  You know, some days I have really great ideas for tangents (or at least what I think are really great ideas) and other days, I just stare at pictures for a while and see if I have any good stories.  So since today is one of those other days, then I will just be completely candid and share with you what popped into my head when staring at iPhoto.  I will be horrified if any of them find this... but here's a nice look through some of the boys (emphasis on some - I fall easily) that Jessica had a crush on/was in love with/wrote lame poetry about at some point in her life.  Enjoy this, this is really a treat.  David, I'm sure, will especially enjoy this one.

My childhood neighbors.  And yes, when I realized that boys didn't have cooties and were actually kind of cute, I had a crush on both of them.

Apparently all the prom pictures are showing up in this entry... this is my friend Alex from high school.  I had a big crush on him my senior year because he loved Lollicup and smelled good.  My emotional depth scares me.  

One of my drama club kids (I was so the cool kid in high school), Hunter.  I had a major thing for this boy, and when I left for college, it got even more major.  He's one of those super creative types - I fell for him and his art.  And, you know, he smelled good.  Seriously.  The emotional depth.

My ex-boyfriend, Collin.  My first real love.  Also my first real broken heart.  He's in the Air Force, and he is why I scowl every time someone talks about the Air Force, but I also secretly say a prayer for their safety.  I just shared a secret with you, kids.  We're getting close here.

And, of course, this one.  Obviously :)
Based on my criteria, he fits the bill - he smells good, tolerates Lollicup, is creative, and is NOT in the Air Force.  Kind of perfect.


3.  I ate an entire loaf of that brown bread from Outback Steakhouse tonight.  That really isn't much in the way of a tangent, but I had to get it off my chest.  And hopefully with a 7 mile run this weekend, I can also successfully get it off of my thighs, because we all know that's where it went.

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Triple Tangent Twednesday!

You thought I was kidding about actually calling it that, didn't you?  You misjudge how lame I really am.

1.  I've been missing my Disney days a lot lately, especially all the amazing people that I met on both of my programs... and today I was reminded of this lovely lady.

My awesome and insanely talented roommate Colleen from my second College Program.  This girl is hilarious, and on top of being gorgeous, has some serious pipes.  Gurl can siiiiing.


Two things actually reminded me of her today:  I went to Sweet Tomatoes for lunch (SO GOOD), which was one of our favorite places to go.  There was one just a few minutes from our apartment, and it made us feel healthy.  You know, because we had a nice big salad before we ate entire loaves of bread and pounds of frozen yogurt.  One time, we actually took Tupperware with us and took some bread and baked potatoes with us.  Hopefully no one from Sweet Tomatoes reads this and bans me.  I promise I won't do it again!  We were poor!  And hungry!

The second thing that reminded me of her was seeing a commercial (watching Frasier on the Hallmark channel because I'm 90 years old) that we both seriously love.  Because it's hysterical.  If you haven't seen this, you are in for a treat... at least if you're easily amused like me.




2.  If you've read this blog at all, you might be aware that I have a slight shopping problem.  Unfortunately, this problem is not reserved to clothes, running shoes, and expensive jewelry.  Like any good foodie, I am horribly addicted to Williams Sonoma.  I just got the newest catalog and looked through it 3 times before I could possibly put it down.  Somehow they constantly come up with some new tool or gadget that I didn't know I needed, but I desperately need.  Like Zoku quick pops.  SERIOUSLY.  Who doesn't need that?!  And don't even get me started on the fancy machine that cores, chops, slices, and probably sprinkles magical pixie dust on fruit.  The catalog had it pictured next to the greatest idea ever that I am planning on trying tomorrow, even if I don't have the fancy machine.

WHY HADN'T I THOUGHT OF THIS?!  Okay, so, this is a picture from Whole Foods... and the Williams Sonoma version had raisins instead of chocolate chips which sounds fabulous to me, but you get the idea.  


3.  I am big on skincare.  I force skincare on people.  I've got D-Money going into girly stores like Lush all by himself so he can pick up his fancy face wash.  And this is not the first time I have done this... I shoved eye cream onto my poor unsuspecting mother, I've given many a lecture to anyone who will listen about the importance of sunscreen, and I singlehandedly cured my first serious boyfriend of his acne problem.  Of course, this made him feel attractive enough to cheat on me, but that is an entirely different (and incredibly bitter) tangent.  

My drugs of choice include Aloe Calming Facial Cleanser from The Body Shop, Deep Cleansing Oil from DHC, and the amazing drugstore find, Apricot Scrub from St. Ives.  This is just the beginning of a long list of things I shove on my face.  And I do it all looking something like this.

David's excitement to have me move in with him just died.


Okay, that last one was possibly the most boring tangent... blame my brain, because when I thought to myself "hey, self, you're almost out of Deep Cleansing Oil," it immediately thought it would be brilliant to tell you all about my skincare obsession.  Because you don't think I'm crazy enough.
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Triple Tangent Thursday! Better late than never, right?

TRIPLE TANGENT THURSDAY!

1.  I really like dipping stuff in milk.  Really.  I already love milk (especially when you put it on ice and throw some booze in it) but it gets even better when things are dipped into it.  And I don't just mean cookies like a normal person.  Donuts are delightful dipped in milk.  I even like milk toast - I had a choir teacher who used to describe boring, blah, and gross things as milk toast, and it always made me feel bad since I loved it.  My real favorite, though, is to tear peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into strips and dip that into milk - if peanut butter didn't like to make my hips grow 5" every time I looked at it, I would eat that everyday for the rest of my life.  Right after I hit "Publish Post" on this beast, I'll be making some milk magic with graham crackers...

No idea how I make my eyes do that.  But how good does that s'more look?!!  I'm jealous of the box.


2.  On my second stint in Disney World, because of my awesome roommate Colleen, I got the opportunity to go on a tour of the Cinderella Castle Suite.  For those of you not obsessed with Disney, here's a short little backstory from the Wikipedia article: "Inside the upper levels of Cinderella Castle, there is a suite that was intended to be an apartment for Walt Disney and his family when they were in Florida. After Walt died in 1966, the apartment was left unfinished... On June 7, 2006, it was announced by Disney that the suite would be completely decorated and upholstered as a 'royal bedchamber', which can sleep up to six people."  During the Year of a Million Dreams (which went on for two years, but who's counting) they would give away a stay in the suite every night to a lucky family.  Anyway, it's not normally just shown off to people, so it was, forgive the corniness, very magical.  We got there before the park opened and got pixie dust and jewels from the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.  It was like being five years old again.  It was a serious dream come true, and the best part was that they let me take a billion and a half pictures!

In the exclusive elevator... the walls are padded.  And gilded.  Please let me live here, Disney.

Hanging out in the shower.

Doing the princess pose!  Both beds have a big "C" over them, which the tour guide carefully pointed out can stand for either "Cinderella" or "Charming."  Love it!



3.  Having friends in high places in Disney has worked out for me a few times actually... the Cinderella Suite tour was one, and my connection to the Tower of Terror in Hollywood Studios was another.  My friend Chris, who is easily one of the most entertaining and hilarious guys I've ever met, works there and patiently let me take a million pictures of the lobby... past the ropes where the guests aren't allowed to go.  HA!  This is not exciting to normal people, but I am not normal, so I was profoundly excited. 







Funny enough, I met Chris because he came on my boat at the Jungle Cruise.  I learned later that he was essentially dragged on it because he hates the Jungle Cruise, but our mutual friend Matt made him go, and despite hating the ride, he loved me.  So now we're pretty much besties.


Even if he makes that face.

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Triple Tangent Tuesday!

IT'S MY FAVORITE DAY!

But really... I love Triple Tangent Tuesday.  It's super fun for me, so I hope it's vaguely entertaining for all of you.  Plus, it gives me an excuse to blog even when I may have skipped a day of working out!  Not out of sheer laziness, I assure you, though obviously that was a contributing factor.  My hamstring was still all weird this morning so I decided to give it a day of rest so I could go for a nice run tomorrow morning!  But... enough about my cranky muscles.  Time for tangents!

1.  I am currently enjoying one of my favorite beverages from my childhood that everyone thought I was weird for drinking - milk over ice.  What can I say?  I like my milk frosty.  And it's still not as weird as Coke mixed with milk that I pretty much lived on my freshman and sophomore years of college.


But I gotta say, my childhood favorite is a little bit better with a splash (or three) of Kahlua.  I like to think of it as chocolate milk for grown-ups.

Oh yeah.  Smooooooooooooth.


2.  Incidentally, a Kahlua and cream was my first real legal drink when I turned 21.  I was on my first College Program in Orlando at the time, and my parents flew out to visit.  They treated me to a stay in the nicest hotel on property, the Grand Floridian, which is modeled after the Hotel del Coronado...


And they took me to dinner for my birthday in the hotel's very gorgeous, very fancy, and very expensive no-kids-allowed restaurant, Victoria and Albert's.  It was fabulous.  And the Kahlua and cream was strong.


They also got me two wonderfully delicious treats...



But one of my fondest memories from that birthday was a cake that one of the boys I worked with at the bakery made for me.  It was easily one of the sweetest and most romantic gestures that anyone had ever made for me.  


Let's face it... if you knit a lot and like to watch Cats 101, romantic things don't happen to you.  So I savor my moments.


3.  And since the theme of the day is clearly becoming romantic gestures and trips down memory lane, the most romantic gesture that I think I ever made was for this man.

And yes, that is the dreaded bakery costume.


His name is Bruno, and if he ever finds and reads this blog, I will be relatively mortified that I've laid this story out for the world to see.  But essentially, I was kind of in love with him.  We worked together - he was on an international internship from Brazil that started before mine.  Naturally, this meant it also ended before mine, so I had to say goodbye to him and then face many more days of work without getting to see him.  Le sigh.  

His last night of work, I showed up and pretty much declared to everyone working that I would kiss him before he left.  Please understand that everyone except Bruno knew that I was in love with him.  For all I know, even he had some idea of my infatuation.  Lucky for me, they all peer pressured me into following through on my promise.  So after all the goodbyes from everyone, and lots of crying, he left the kitchen.  And I hadn't done anything.  I had chickened out and I knew it.  This was apparently the cue for my manager, Steven (best manager ever for this night alone), to practically shove me out of the door of the kitchen.  So there I am, talking to Bruno, trying to get up the nerve to kiss him... when his friend walks out of another door and tells him they need to get going.

This is where it gets dramatic, kids.  We look at one another kind of awkwardly, and I say goodbye to him one last time.  He walks through the door to the stairwell.  And I stand there, wondering if I'll regret not kissing him... and my brain says, "DUH, MORON."  So I throw open the door to the stairwell and yell his name dramatically, Ã  la Titanic or Gone With The Wind or insert other classic romance here.  He looks up at me, climbs the stairs back to me, and I kiss him.  Fireworks!  Stars!  Butterflies!  But really.  It was adorable.  So adorable that I blushed and took awkward pictures with awesome manager Steven just to remember the moment.

Yup.  It's true.  I've been making that same ridiculous face with the same ridiculous thumbs-up pose for years, kids.


Don't be worried that my most romantic gesture was not for D-Money.  That one's coming.  It's his birthday present and he has NO IDEA WHAT IT IS.  Bwahahahahaha.

That's plenty of stories for today.  Anybody else want to share a tangent?
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Triple Tangent Tuesday!

Barely getting in under the wire... but Tuesdays I am the receptionist for one meeting, and those two hours of work slay me.  Whew!  How I will exist when I have to work actual hours again is beyond me.

A pre-tangent tangent... I washed my hair today!  Aaaaaaaand put on eyeshadow!  Not just one color of eyeshadow either, kids, four different eyeshadows.  I know.  It was... legen... wait for it... I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next word is... dairy!  (and yes, I still think I'm cool)

Here's the evidence in case you are currently scoffing:
The second picture is because I realized today that my hair is taking over the world... maybe it's time for a haircut.  And the third picture is my special kid self trying to point out the eyeshadow.  It wasn't working.  For as much as I love makeup, I'm pretty bad at capturing photographic evidence of my work.


Now... Triple Tangent Tuesday!

#1
One of my favorite restaurants in the world is a place called The Fort.  My family has celebrated a lot of holidays there in the past, and I insisted on going there for my graduation dinner.  They have possibly the greatest baked good in the world - pumpkin muffins.  I'm not even that big of a fan of pumpkin or of muffins, but these things are the greatest creations of all time.  They also will open champange with a tomahawk, which might be the coolest thing ever.  And things like this happen when you tell them you are celebrating something:

I bet you did not wear an animal skin as a hat in celebration when you graduated.  


#2
In college, I lived alone my sophomore year, one semester of my junior year, and my last two years (senior and... super-senior).  While it got lonely and boring sometimes, I am incredibly grateful that I lived alone for so long because it really taught me independence.  I am the first to admit that I get whiny and lazy a lot, but left to my own devices, I'm actually very self sufficient (as long as you're ignoring the fact that I'm poor and make maybe $50 a week).  Plus, I feel completely comfortable doing things alone, which I think it something that a lot of people struggle with.  I've been known to go to restaurants alone and sit and have a nice meal just with myself - no book, no iPod, just me.  Like when I went to a fancy character breakfast at one of the deluxe hotels in Disney World... completely by myself.  I think all of the families took pity on me and thought I was sad and alone.  Which worked out well because I kept asking them to take my picture with the characters because I'm five years old.

Please note that doing Disney by yourself is not for the faint of heart.  You get a lot of dirty looks when you go on It's A Small World as a party of one.  People thought I was a serious creeper.


#3
On my second stint with Disney, I lived with three girls from Wisconsin who loved cats and got me horribly addicted to a show on Animal Planet called Cats 101.  While I rarely catch the show on television, I watch the clips about each breed on the Animal Planet website obsessively.  I've made poor I'm-allergic-to-cats David watch and learn about several different breeds in an attempt to force my love of cats on him.  My personal favorite ones to watch over and over and over are the Oriental and the Munchkin.  As in, when I went to find those links, I had to watch both of them.  The Munchkin has to be one of the greatest things ever.  My roommate Maggie and I always talked about how we were going to get a Munchkin and a Welsh Corgi and be so incredibly happy with our short, chubby pets.  


+


=
TRUE LOVE

I'm not sure if she was kidding, but I so was not kidding.  David already knows that if he stays with me, a corgi is in his future.  I'll ease him into the munchkin.
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Triple Tangent Tuesday!

I know everyone loves it when I whine about how chubby I am and how crappy my runs are, but perhaps I should spice things up a bit sometimes... enter another Triple Tangent Tuesday!!

#1
It's lucky that I can sing and act because I have zero artistic talent.  My stick figures are awkward.  There's actually only one thing that I can successfully draw that looks pretty, and it's really just a random doodle, but it looks cool.  It was on an Urban Outfitters catalog many years ago and I just copied it over and over until I finally had it down.

This is from 2005, and it's pretty much exactly the same to this day... I still doodle it in notebooks when I get bored.  Weirdly, now that I look at it, I realize that I actually tend to draw the little tail as curving to the left now, but that's the only significant change.

In case you think I'm kidding about my inability to draw things and not have them look like someone with a serious head injury made them, here is my horrendous attempt at "recreating" a painting for an art history class in college.  I remember this taking me hours... hence why I took a picture.  So I could remember the pain.  I'm masochistic like that.

Please.  Avert your eyes.


#2
Speaking of singing (um, kind of)... my mom still really likes to tell the story of how she found out I had any vocal ability.  I actually didn't talk a lot as a kid, and while I definitely was never an introvert, I was usually a band kid, not a choir kid.  Freshman year of high school, unbeknownst to my parents, I had started writing poetry and even tried writing a couple songs.  When the drama department announced that they were putting on a talent show, I decided that I wanted to sing one of the songs I had written.  So I came home and told my mom, and this was pretty much the exchange:

Jessica:  I think I'm going to enter the talent show at school.
Jessica's mom:  What are you going to do?
Jessica:  I'm going to sing.
Jessica's mom:  You can sing?  What are you going to sing?
Jessica:  A song I wrote.
Jessica's mom:  You write songs?!!

As corny as it sounds, that talent show was the beginning of a serious blossoming for me, and even though it shocked everyone, I'm glad I learned I could sing!  It's a little unrealistic, but if I could someday make a career out of my voice, I would be the happiest little clam that ever was.  Not necessarily a record deal, but something.  Still figuring that out.


#3
I knit... sometimes.  It kind of comes in waves, like many of my obsessions: I will knit every day for months, and then I kind of forget about it.  Like right now, I have a tank top on my needles that I don't think I touched for the entire month of May.  Actually, I feel bad writing that, so it looks like I've got some knitting to do tonight!  :)

I learned how to knit my freshman year of college... I had truly awful roommates (that's a story for another Triple Tangent Tuesday) and would pretty much use any excuse to get out of my room, and one of the professors started a little knitting club in my dorm, so I went.  The first thing I ever knit was a long scarf made of white acrylic yarn with silver sparkly tinsel in it.  It had a million mistakes, but I gave it to my mom because I knew she'd appreciate it, and she cried when she opened up the box I'd wrapped it in.  She never wears it, but she still has it, which makes me feel super loved.


I promise I learned how to knit much better after that and have knit all sorts of pretty things, including, but not limited to:

This shawl, which is a very cool, yet super simple pattern called the Boneyard Shawl by Stephen West.

This shrug, which is a variation on a lovely free pattern called the Ribbed Lace Bolero, using a different lace pattern called "Lacy Columns."

As well as another shrug based on the same pattern that I wore to my honors graduation ceremony.


I was pretty psyched about graduating.


And that, kids, is today's Triple Tangent Tuesday!  I hope you enjoy reading these... I'm really enjoying geeking out and writing them.  Especially since you all know how much I love to talk about myself.  It's kind of my thing.
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Triple Tangent Tuesday (it's still Tuesday on the west coast!)

I'm pretending that I live in California and using the last 21 minutes of Tuesday to finally join Janae in a Triple Tangent Tuesday!  And yes, I am delusional enough to believe that I am "joining" her, like she has the time or patience to read through the blogs of her 1622 followers.  Yes, I just checked how many followers she has.  And that is nuts.  I'm not sure I've met 1622 people in my entire lifetime, so I'm super impressed by her.  If you don't follow her, go and follow her now... she's adorable and funny and her posts about her love of candy make me feel less alone in my sugar coated world.

Aaaaanyway... every Tuesday she does "Triple Tangent Tuesday" where she explains three little facts about herself on her blog so that her readers can get to know her.  So, since I am still pretty new to the blog game and now am lucky enough to have some followers who don't know me personally (you better believe David was my first follower), I thought I should share some shtuff about myself!  You know, since I haven't painted the nicest picture with my dirty hair and my addiction to cake.  And since I blew off my run and have no exercise to blog about today, unless you count running up and down the stairs of my house because I kept forgetting stuff I needed...

So here we go, my very first Triple Tangent Tuesday!

1.  I love ducks.  A whole lot.  When I was working full time in Disney World, there were ducks everywhere... there was even a boy and girl duck couple that would walk through one of the break areas.  Of course I called them Donald and Daisy because I am super original and not lame at all.  Ducks are one of the things I miss most about Florida.


Just try and tell me that you don't want to snuggle the heck out of those fuzzy ducklings.  I know you're lying if you say you don't.


2.  Speaking of Florida (I don't stop talking about Disney World once I get started)... before I worked as a Skipper on the Jungle Cruise, I worked at the bakery and ice cream shop on Main Street U.S.A.  Despite getting ice cream in my hair a lot and looking like a goof in the costume, it was a fantastic job.  I was around baked goods constantly, which, though not conducive to a healthy lifestyle, was amazing.  And though I still don't understand it, guys hit on me a lot in that costume.  And by guys I mean middle aged men.

So insanely attractive.


3.  I was on the drumline for my school's marching band in college.  I played the bass drum, and was with them for two years before I had other things to focus on.  I'm not sure how gorgeous I looked in the band uniform, but there was nothing like being one of the few girls on a predominantly male drumline to make me feel badass.  I thought I was super hardcore.  I still have my jacket that says my name on the front and "CU Drumline" on the back.

In this picture, I'm the second smallest bass drum - second from the right.



Plus, the band partied all the time and had pretty spectacular party traditions.  So not only did I feel like a hardcore BAMF, but I got to do stuff like this...

That's me wrestling in Jello, kids.  I am a class act and always have been.
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