So... it's been over a week since I last wrote a thing on here. Let's go through the week, shall we? Don't expect any fun pictures or anything... this is going to be a massive pity party.
Last Tuesday (last time I blogged): went for an awful run, realized I was overtraining, and vowed to take it easy for a while so that I would not kill anyone.
Wednesday: took my own advice for once and didn't do anything... including blog. I was going to write a Triple Tangent Twednesday, but it was going to be a whole lot more like this girl's tradition of WTF Wednesday. Not a great day, but not horrendous.
Thursday: horrendous. Felt completely off all day, and the only thing getting me through was that I was so excited for the last rehearsal for Cinderella before we went into tech and dress rehearsals. Then I got to rehearsal. And both the artistic director and the show director were eerily quiet until they told us to sit down. Then came the really horrendous part: they announced that they had gotten a phone call that morning from the licensing company that they worked with asking why the ticket information was on the website. Turns out they had pulled the rights to the show back in November and notified the artistic director, but she'd never gotten the notification. So the show was cancelled. Three months of work and my dream role down the drain. Cue lots of crying and drinking.
Friday: more crying.
Saturday: more drinking.
Sunday: got into a horrible fight with David that lasted for three hours. Lots more crying. Finally resolved everything and went to bed not crying for the first time since Thursday.
Monday: relatively harmless.
Tuesday (yesterday): David and I decided to break up. This sucks. I honestly still can't believe it. We had a lot of obstacles to deal with (long distance, two different religions and backgrounds, different career goals) but I always thought we could get through it. Part of me still thinks we can get through it, and wants nothing more than to book a ticket to Los Angeles and just show up at his doorstep. I think that's the only thing getting me through right now, actually... it doesn't feel permanent. And maybe that's just me and maybe he's thinking something completely different, but I've never had a breakup like this before. In the past, it's always been very clear that the other person wants out (read: I get cheated on and dumped), so I am just forced to move on. But David and I didn't break up because we wanted out... we broke up because we weren't sure if it was right. And while part of me thinks that maybe it's for the best, and he and I will both find someone else who has the same dreams and ideals as us, another part of me is just desperately hoping that a couple months from now, he'll still love me and I'll still love him and we can figure this whole mess out.
So that was my week. The good news is that I know I didn't keep overtraining, because I didn't exercise at all. I blew off two training runs. I'm probably blowing off another run today. I'm not completely sure that the half marathon is going to happen right now, because while running is often therapeutic to me, I don't think I can face being left with my own thoughts for at least another few days, and I don't want to do the half having missed a lot of training. I guess that is just up in the air for now, as is most of my life. But I'm trying to set some goals. I've been toying with the idea of getting my personal training and/or fitness class instructor certification for a while now, and given the fact that I have now lost two of the things that filled my time... I think it's about damn time to get on that. I'm also thinking about getting my teaching certification and finding a job teaching tiny children. Or sucking it up and doing another audition to be a Disney princess. I guess that's the only good part about having your life fall apart at the seams... you get to create a new one.